Special Needs and lesson plans

As a teacher, I found it much easier to deal with special needs than as a mom. I always made it my priority that the most difficult child became my favorite or special project.
Now, don't freak out. That doesn't mean I would do this to the exclusion of "normal" kids. I felt such a love for every child that those kids easily had their needs met. But those kids who yell, scream, hit, bite, kick, throw things etc would take a bit more effort.
I've had ADHD children, autistic, sensory dysfunctional, kids born on drugs, abused, neglected and unloved children. I even had a child with severe eczema all over his body including his hands. My heart literally broke to pieces when he turned down a cupcake because he knew he would have to wash his hands. I went into the cot storage room and cried myself. I was deeply affected by all the kids trusted in my care over the years.
But my ability to handle all of those kids and just grow the love and understanding I needed to fulfill their needs makes my situation so hard.
We have discipline issues. We have issues with eating.( he's losing weight).
He can't speak on demand to tell us what's bothering him, what he wants or needs.
That combined with the SPD, in which his brain doesn't function well in his world. He doesn't feel "right" in his own skin, and he can't communicate the discomfort. I'm so frustrated and praying for an answer.
I'm working with him. And his speech therapist and OT rock. But day in and out, I just don't have what I had as a teacher to give him.
I ADORE him, beyond measure. And worry about him too. I'll let you know about his progress and mine too!